<body> Underneath The Smile, The Pain Resides

THE GIRL

Photobucket Arrived a gemini with a great deal of divided personalities. For one thing, I can laugh at one moment and be upset the next. But Im not the hardest person to get along with, certainly. I came to be me on 10th June 1991. Spent the last nighteen years of my life in attempts to piece myself together, and is still desperately trying. Family and friends are my life. At least that's the way it is till a boyfriend comes along XD Anyway, icecream's my addiction, my medicine, my must-have. Now you know how to make me happy. I dont need expensive gifts I just want a true heart. I'm majorly affected by the people around me. Can't say if it's a blessing or a curse, 'cause the little things people do can either make my day or simply make it worse. Just give me a smile, and I'll return one to you^^

Photobucket KimJaeJoong: My Prince, MY Love, MY JAEBABY

LEAVE

2E1`05
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SHIQI
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SOOKYING
STELLA
TAOYAN
TOMMY
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    CREDITS

    DESIGNER: ice angel


    Brushes: aethereality.net

    Friday, February 24, 2012


    Win- by Brian McKnight

    Dark is the night
    I can weather the storm
    Never say die
    I've been down this road before
    I'll never quit
    I'll never lay down,
    See I promised myself that I'd never let me down

    So I'll never give up
    Never give in
    Never let a ray of doubt slip in
    And if I fall
    I'll never fail
    I'll just get up and try again

    Never lose hope
    Never lose faith
    There's much too much at stake
    Upon myself I must depend
    I'm not looking for place or show
    I'm gonna win

    No stopping now
    There's still a ways to go,
    Someway, somehow
    Whatever it takes, I know
    I'll never quit, no no
    I'll never go down,
    I'll make sure they remember my name
    A hundred years from now

    I'll never give up
    Never give in
    Never let a ray of doubt slip in
    And if I fall
    I'll never fail
    Just get up and try again


    Never lose hope
    Never lose faith
    There's much too much at stake
    Upon myself I must depend
    I'm not looking for place or show
    I'm gonna win

    When it's all said and done
    My once in a lifetime will be back again
    Now is the time
    To take a stand
    Here is my chance
    That's why I

    I'll never give up
    Never give in
    Never let a ray of doubt slip in
    And if I fall
    I'll never fail
    I'll just get up and try again


    Never lose hope
    Never lose faith
    There's much too much at stake
    Upon myself I must depend
    I'm not looking for place or show
    I'm gonna win


    Nothing more than hope and faith will bring you all the way.

    -With All My Heart, Alina ;

    Wednesday, February 22, 2012


    NI HAO AH!^^
    I'm finally taking a break from all that studying and on the lappy for the first time in days >.<
    Have got quite abit to update so I reckon this will kinda be a long post haha XDD
    First things first.
    Met up with Ade Jung on the last day of school before the study break for dinner at a steamboat restaurant which name I forgot to take note that day haha^^
    The only thing that I remember from that restaurant was "以食为天 " haha.
    It was a new experience cause I hardly travel that far,
    and it was only the second time I had steamboat with friends XDD

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    Had icecream before dinner.
    Sinful but hey, it's icecream :DD

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    Ade Jung ah,
    even though we don't meet up often,
    I'm always there if you wanna say anything,
    but even if I'm not the one you wanna share your unhappiness with,
    I still hope you don't keep everything to yourself(:
    Cheer up!^^

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Saturday was spent organizing and planning my schedule for this week.
    I was so pleased that I had started out earlier this sem so that I don't have to cram all the work and revision within one week,
    which would no doubt be suicide >.<
    So after completing all the miscellaneous work and stuff,
    Andy and I went to Serangoon to my Grandmama's place to collect the food she had prepared for us.
    Lunched at Nex with Andy and I realize that it's been a long time since the both of us had our meals together on our own.
    It was nice spending time with him cause we don't usually get to talk as much at home when we have our own work to do.
    So it was a well spent Saturday afternoon(:

    There isn't much to say about Sunday except that I cleared yet another 2 sets of Pharmaco notes.
    Proud accomplishment^^
    Went to bed early that day for another battle with pharmacology the next day.
    Woke up at 7 Monday morning and had Mac breakfast with abu before she went to work.
    The weather was great and I remember telling myself so many times before that I need to wake up early on a holiday to just experience the fine weather outside,
    and I'm glad I have this week to do it,
    and I actually did it,
    despite hitting the snooze button so many times before I drag myself up >.<
    We talked about many things over breakfast,
    talked about Alicia, Andy,
    my work, my personal life,
    mum's work, and problems.
    She was more worried for Alicia than anything because it seems that Alicia has kinda lost the drive to do more for her life.
    And I can understand that.
    Having undergone 2 surgeries and suffering a relapse only recently,
    it's only naturally that she feels despondent.
    So I had to comfort my mum and at the same time,
    find a time to speak to Alicia.
    And suddenly I felt a little more grown up,
    such that I am now able to share my mum's burden,
    like really share it with her,
    and because of that,
    all the more I feel I need to grow up and put more emphasis on my family than all the other petty things in my life.
    So after a filling breakfast made up of 3 hotcakes and orange juice hahaha,
    I went home to study again.
    Took me till 3 plus in the afternoon before clearing another 2 sets of notes and went to fetch Alicia from school as she's still on crutches.
    Thankfully first day of school wasn't that bad,
    except for the additional workload.
    I'm thankful that she has friends for support.
    A handful of true friends is indeed sufficient(:
    Had a good long talk with her when we came home and  I think it's a good start.
    She has now begun to exercise again and scheduling her time(:
    I think with more encouragement and motivation she'll do fine(:

    Tuesday was more or less the same except that Cass and I had a conversation over the phone last night.
    Phone conversations are always a pleasure :DD
    Wish we have more time for that, really.
    So that kinda sums up the night(:
    A pleasant phone conversation with a friend^^

    Ahh don't know why,
    but I can feel that I'm a lot happier these days,
    especially after that conversation with Jiayan,
    because she made me feel that all my problems seem so insignificant as compared to so many others.
    Cannot help but feel ashamed,
    cause come to think of it,
    the problems I deem "problems",
    aren't really problems at all,
    if you get what I mean.
    It's just my personality to amplify every little thing to make them seem larger than life -.-"
    And if it's something I alone cannot solve,
    then it's not considered my problem,
    which makes me a whole less burdened.
    做人有时候真的要懂得看开
    Sometimes there's also no additional energy left to be bothered too much,
    In the end 只要做到问心无愧 就已足够
    I pray that this thankfulness I'm feeling will never cease and that I'll always find happiness in even the smallest of things(:
    Of course, I hope all of you will too^^


    -With All My Heart, Alina ;

    Thursday, February 16, 2012


    Friends,
    whatever will happen to me if I don't have them?
    I think life will be so sad...

    -With All My Heart, Alina ;

    Saturday, February 11, 2012


    Today's all about "Play first and work later",
    or rather,
    "Blog first and work later".
    Kekeke can't help it if the inspiration's flooding in as if a dam was just pushed open.
    Many things happened lately,
    and they happened so suddenly I couldn't even react properly.
    And the worst part is,
    all of them appeared at the same timing,
    as if it was all pre-planned,
    to screw my life T.T
    Firstly,
    there was Alicia's knee relapse.
    She came home one day limping and complained of pain at her site of surgery.
    She could no longer bear her weight and had to walk with 2 clutches.
    And when I checked,
    her knee was twice the size of normal.
    Everyone went into a state of panic as we were afraid she had to go for another surgery.
    It felt like a hopeless situation...
    and there was nothing we could do but pray.
    But thankfully,
    after a couple of visits to the doc and undergoing rounds of x-rays and a MRI scan,
    it was revealed that there's nothing major about it.
    It was just a chipped off bone that caused the swell and she'll recover her ability to walk with the help of physio and exercises on her part.
    So naturally all of us heaved a sign of relief.
    But this episode made me realize that we cannot take her knee for granted,
    because another relapse may come again,
    anytime.
    I can only hope that it won't again.
    So problem number 1 was solved, somewhat.
    Problem number 2 on the other hand has been bothering me so much I think I might lose my head.
    But it's not something I can just vent it out and feel better about it.
    All I can say is,
    friends can bring out the best in you,
    but also the worst.
    I don't like being in the middle but it seems like it's the only way now if I were to keep our friendship together.
    On one hand I don't wish to lose this person,
    on the other hand I don't want to hurt another.
    It's sad to be sandwiched in between.
    I also want to be sensitive to everyone's feelings,
    to let everyone feel at ease.
    But in the end,
    it's just me.
    And it's tiring having to consider everyone's feelings,
    like it's a natural thing for me to do.
    And it's abit sad that I can't rely as much on the people I used to be able to :(
    I think it's time for me to grow up too,
    to be more independent,
    and to let some people go,
    because perhaps they have already left me behind.
    This is definitely not a problem that can be solved any time soon.
    I think it's only wise to take things one step at a time.

    And in the midst of these,
    I've to deal with another delicate problem.
    I have ran out of things to say but it just seems that you don't understand...
    or don't wish to understand.
    But I do feel sorry that we have been running around in circles just to go back to the same place :(

    On the bright side,
    just in case anyone thinks that my life had been in turmoil out of late,
    I'm now hooked on the TV series 步步惊心
    and it's been my motivation ever since.
    Catching an episode a day is somewhat better than chasing the entire series in a day cause it keeps my motivation levels up there haha XDD
    So,
    because of this,
    my mood is brightening up alittle(:
    And also,
    the one person who had really been able to make me smile genuinely,
    and cry- daphne.
    Life would be alot tougher without her with me.

    Photobucket
    <333

    Shall share pics taken on the day we went to high tea at carousel at royal plaze(:
    Photobucket
    With Cass and Shus(:

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    198 on the loose :DD

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    XOXO

    Photobucket
    Love @ carousel^^

    With that,
    I shall end my post(:

    -With All My Heart, Alina ;

    Monday, February 06, 2012


    #Happy27thYunho

    Photobucket
    Happy Birthday to our dear leader sshi- Uknow Yunho^^

    Thank you for being the best leader in the whole wide world,
    and for trying to pick up the pieces when everything was shattered.
    Be strong, always but most importantly, be happy(:
    Saranghae~
    :DD

    -With All My Heart, Alina ;