Underneath The Smile, The Pain Resides

THE GIRL

Arrived a gemini with a great deal of divided personalities. For one thing, I can laugh at one moment and be upset the next. But Im not the hardest person to get along with, certainly. I came to be me on 10th June 1991. Spent the last nighteen years of my life in attempts to piece myself together, and is still desperately trying. Family and friends are my life. At least that's the way it is till a boyfriend comes along XD Anyway, icecream's my addiction, my medicine, my must-have. Now you know how to make me happy. I dont need expensive gifts I just want a true heart. I'm majorly affected by the people around me. Can't say if it's a blessing or a curse, 'cause the little things people do can either make my day or simply make it worse. Just give me a smile, and I'll return one to you^^

KimJaeJoong: My Prince, MY Love, MY JAEBABY

LEAVE

2E1`05 4E1`07
NUS NURSING
BUDDY
AIKSONG
BEETENG
BOONYANG
CHUANLIANG
DINGSIAN
CINDY
ERVIN
GUOTING
HONGJIE
HUILI
IRA
JEAN
JINWEN
JINXIAN
JINYI
JOCELYN
JUNRI
KARYAN
KELLIE
LUTING
MADELEINE
MINGHAO
OLIVIA
QIAN
REUBEN
SAMANTHA
SHAWN
SHENN
SHIQI
SHIRLEY
SOOKYING
STELLA
TAOYAN
TOMMY
VANICE
WEIFANG
WEIJIE
WEIXIAN
WENDY
XUANXIN
YANGMENG

DOWN MEMORY LANE

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TALK TO ME

CREDITS

DESIGNER: ice angel

Brushes: aethereality.net

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

i feel so effing stressed right now:(
like im wearing a tight-fitted tee that isnt even my size in the first place:(
i can't sleep right.
i can't eat right.
i can't even play right.
and what's bothering me most is none other than the upcoming camp next week.
for some reason, i feel like an awfully lost duck.
im unsure of most of what's going on.
the worst is, im the only one i know who's getting into the same course,
which makes me an awfully lonely lost duck.
i know this is just the transition period and that it'll be all better.
but because of my i-worry-too-much-about-this-and-that syndrome,
i couldnt help but feel sick in the chest.
like my heart's pounding too hard all the time.
honestly, i wont be surpried if i die of a worry-overdose. >.<
so in order to ensure that that day doesnt come too soon,
im occupying myself with as much activities as possible.
- breakfast with taoyan in the morning(:
- work in the afternoon
- tuition in the evening
- vampire diaries in the night (hopefully)
- outing with buddy on friday(:
- eclipse with andy & alicia on saturday(:
my saturday has a longer list of activities on TBC XD

anyways.
life as of late; im so gaga over vampire diaries lately that i do think im going a teeny bit over the edge.
for instance, i dreamt that season 2 of vampire diaries is finally released and when i clicked on it (i watch it on the net), winnie the pooh pops out. -.-"
LOL.
i've got enough disappointments in reality, i dont need anymore from fantasies to remind me that life is full of them.
that aside, im watching the series all over again ^^

and im so glad it's already thursday,
meaning i've only got one more day of work left before i chill for the rest of the week, as well as the next,
if i can overcome the fear and nervousness of meeting new people and going new places.
work hasnt been really killing me.
my boss has been indirectly directing his rage at a collegue of mine because the business isnt exactly soaring.
in fact, it is plunging.
this is why i wont go into this profession.
even if the kids are adorable and all,
if they can be.
im just not cut out for this job.
i get the "you're too soft-hearted" kinda talk so often that im actually convinced it might actually mean a bad thing. :/

andand, is it just me or is there seriously nothing much on the tv lately?
the programmes make me feel boring-er than i was before i turned on the tv to ease my boredom.
what to do, what to do???

haiz...
with that, im done with the rantings of the day.
and im gonna head off to bed now.
long day ahead tomorrow.
goodnight then, people(:

-With All My Heart, Alina ;

it's not okay.
not okay for you to be this way,
not okay for us to be this way.
it's not okay.

-With All My Heart, Alina ;

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

work sucks.
especially when you've got a superior with a temper comparable to the recent weather.
god knows when it'll be sunny.
can't believe im letting it torture me for another 3 weeks.
strictly speaking, it's 2 weeks actually, since im attending camp next week.
honestly, i don't hate my job, i just hate the stress that my job brings.
and each day im just dragging my feet over there:(

on the bright side,
i went shopping with mummy this morning(:
because she'll be starting work this thursday,
im afraid we wouldnt have too much mother-daughter time to spend together,
hence the shopping-spree.
and then it'll be home alone all over again.
sighs.
at times i do appreciate that my working time is set in the afternoon such that im able to have longer sleep-time.
but having such a timing means i would be alone in the morning and when andy & alicia are home in the afternoon,
i'll be dragging my feet miserably to work
and that honestly sucks :(

-With All My Heart, Alina ;

Monday, June 28, 2010

the irony:
when i used to go to work at 9am in the morning,
i complain about not having enough time to do the stuff i want.
but now that my work starts at 2pm again,
i complain about having nothing to do.
LOL.
it's not nothing actually.
in fact, i've got tons of stuff on my to-do-list,
i simply have no mood to do them.
and when i have no mood,
i had better not do anything at all.
yes, i can be self-contradicting sometimes.

-With All My Heart, Alina ;

Sunday, June 27, 2010

To infinity and beyond XD
went to catch Toy Story 3 with george yesterday(:
it is, in my opinion, the best disney-pixar film up to date.
and considering that i did watch all of disney-pixar films,
(yes yes im a disney fan)
my "best" is honestly the best.
like all of the other disney productions,
toy story 3 is packed with humour and underlying moral teachings,
in this case, friendship,
as well as a fair share of teary moments.
i must admit that it did get me rather teary-eyed at the end.
2 thumbsup!
and anyone who has had played with toys at all should really catch this ^^

also, i just recently completed a series called "The Vampire Diaries", regrettably.
dont get this the wrong way.
i just regret completing the series too early and now im thirsty for the second season.
cant wait really.
and if you're a sucker for vampires,
you've so got to watch this.
setting the drop-dead gorgeous boys aside,
the plot actually keeps you constantly at edge.
more importantly, there is not an overdosage of i-cant-live-without-you talk.
other than that, it's the drop-dead gourgeous boys again.
anyway, it's a bloody good series.
P.S not for the faint-hearted.
you'll see what i mean.

now you know what i mean.
i was drooling.
and i bet alicia was too, secretly. XD

im catching eclipse next saturday with andy & alicia.
hope it's as good as it looks.

anyway, life's been treating me alittle too miserably lately.
but it hasnt dampened my mood one bit.
guess the good things that are happening far outweigns the bad ones.
for one thing, i finally managed to tell my boss firmly that im resigning the coming month.
he did try to delay it, but im leaving at the third week of july for sure. XD
im gonna miss my lil charmer, bryan toh. XD

-With All My Heart, Alina ;

Friday, June 18, 2010

Lol.
if you think it's crazy to be blogging at 3am in the morning,
then guess what,
im blogging at 7 am lol.
yepp.
i didn't get up specifically for this.
im not crazy.
im working actually.
and for those whose eyes are rolling,
it's because the auntie at the center's not around.
she flew to KL last night.
so here i am,
stuck in the center all day and fyi, im blogging right here in my boss's office, who coincidentally went off to genting this morning. >.<
11.5 hours of confinement with 14 hyper kids.
yay.
plus tuition tonight.
i can't wait.

and my mum was really sweet.
she went down to macdonald's to get me breakfast even before the sun came up this morning.
and walked me to the center as well.
okay, by this time i've got 4 kids crowding up on me in the office.
so im gonna have to stop here.
before my privacy is invaded further.

-With All My Heart, Alina ;

Thursday, June 17, 2010

THE STUPID ULCER IS FREAKING KILLING ME :(

-With All My Heart, Alina ;

Sunday, June 13, 2010

first of all,
even though it's been 3 days,
i've still gotta say,
many many thanks to the birthday wishers.
every blessing means alot to me (:
and because i was busy working my shit off or simply just too tired,
i didn't have the time to post this.
yepp and to the ladies; buddy, qian-er, ade jung and char,
thank you for the dinner that night,
as well as for the surprise on thursday. ^^
and i realise that there are some people who i need to meet up with real soon lol.
ade jung, you know who im talking about! >.<
and my dear qian-er who stayed up doing my card when she should be studying for her test. :')
(and i can't believe you still have those photos dated back centuries ago >.<
we ought to take some more recent ones!)
and buddy, guess i don't have to say much for you to understand how i feel;
BFF.

a post celebration with my cousins yesterday:

happy birthday alina!
i hope that the following year will be better than the last, seriously.

-With All My Heart, Alina ;

Sunday, June 06, 2010

finally,
i had time to sit down in front of the comp and perhaps organise my thoughts.
life's been rather nice to me out of late,
though i do feel a mass energy drain-out every once in a while,
which may not be a bad thing after all.
i need to be busy and at times,
i actually like the pace in which im going,
although at other times,
i'd much prefer a little more personal time.

i haven't been in the best mood lately :(
i've got to say im usually a cup-is-half-full person.
like i go to bed at night convincing myself that tomorrow will be a better day.
but the cup just seems to be half empty these days.
i'll credit that to my "sheng li wen ti" that happens every month.
i just hate it when i experience mood swings more than i take my meals,
and for no particular reason at that.
that sucks.

anyway,
i finally had the courage to bring up the issue that's been burdening me for so long to my boss.
i'd end my job in another month's time and he's not really a fan of that.
if you knew my boss,
you would agree that he's got issues,
especially when it comes to employees leaving.
i've got to say that i'm quite proud of myself actually,
for sticking to a job like that for so long,
at least longer,
no,
much much longer than i had expected myself to be.
it's been 5 months and a week and i swear that i considered resigning a hundred times (at least) during this period.
my boss is not exactly the Mr Nice Guy and the kids aren't exactly cute and cuddly either.
but i made it this far,
to the extent of me even loving my job,
as well as the kids.
i guess i've grown attatched,
which i swear i thought would never happen.
but another phase in life is waiting for me,
and i'm actually looking forward to it.
i know that's where my turning point is,
and i'm going to live in every moment.

i've been watching vampire diaries lately.
it's in a way better than twilight,
in the sense that the girl is less pathetic.
i mean her world won't cease to continue even without a guy,
which does not gross out the viewers as much.
i haven't finished the series yet so i'm not going to rate it.
(and is it just me or are vamp series/books/movies popping out like dasies suddenly?)

sigh.
it had been one of the most depressing,
not to mention frustrating weekends ever.

i know disappointment's coming,
but i'm ready for it.

-With All My Heart, Alina ;