<body> Underneath The Smile, The Pain Resides

THE GIRL

Photobucket Arrived a gemini with a great deal of divided personalities. For one thing, I can laugh at one moment and be upset the next. But Im not the hardest person to get along with, certainly. I came to be me on 10th June 1991. Spent the last nighteen years of my life in attempts to piece myself together, and is still desperately trying. Family and friends are my life. At least that's the way it is till a boyfriend comes along XD Anyway, icecream's my addiction, my medicine, my must-have. Now you know how to make me happy. I dont need expensive gifts I just want a true heart. I'm majorly affected by the people around me. Can't say if it's a blessing or a curse, 'cause the little things people do can either make my day or simply make it worse. Just give me a smile, and I'll return one to you^^

Photobucket KimJaeJoong: My Prince, MY Love, MY JAEBABY

LEAVE

2E1`05
4E1`07
NUS NURSING
BUDDY
AIKSONG
BEETENG
BOONYANG
CHUANLIANG
DINGSIAN
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ERVIN
GUOTING
HONGJIE
HUILI
IRA
JEAN
JINWEN
JINXIAN
JINYI
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KELLIE
LUTING
MADELEINE
MINGHAO
OLIVIA
QIAN
REUBEN
SAMANTHA
SHAWN
SHENN
SHIQI
SHIRLEY
SOOKYING
STELLA
TAOYAN
TOMMY
VANICE
WEIFANG
WEIJIE
WEIXIAN
WENDY
XUANXIN
YANGMENG


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    CREDITS

    DESIGNER: ice angel


    Brushes: aethereality.net

    Wednesday, August 31, 2011


    There's no other way but the DB5K way.
    Miss em so very much T.T




    The day's been too long for me,
    like seriously.
    Since morning my mood hadn't been too appealing.
    So the first hour of lecture passed by in an awkward manner.
    Thankfully there were plenty of notes to jot down and so,
    I busied myself with attempts to pay attention to every word the lecturer said.
    But things got better as the day progressed, thankfully(:
    Took the wrong bus (we were supposed to head to Queenstown to retrieve our books) and ended up in Vivo instead.
    So we had lunch at Vivo and spent the rest of the 3hour break chilling over Ben&Jerry's icecream^^
    Icecream is happy food heehee(:
    But I guess what got us most excited was talking about the trip to Genting.
    I guess it's official now ;)
    I'll be going to Genting in the coming recess week!^^
    Looking forward to it, the weather especially^^
    But most of all,
    I just wanna get out of the country and just chill somewhere.
    Ahhh shall end my post here,
    I'm not really in the mood to type much anyway.
    Bye people!

    -With All My Heart, Alina ;

    Tuesday, August 30, 2011


    I woke up this morning thinking I've got school today.
    And after 5 seconds of confusion,
    I went back to sleep again.
    If today hadn't been a holiday,
    I would have ended at 5pm.
    So thankfully,
    it is a holiday haha.
    But having said that,
    it doesn't mean I've got any less chores on my to-do-list,
    which is kinda sad T.T
    I'm to type out my brief outline for the intro of my written assignment later,
    and perhaps wash the hamsters' cages in the afternoon,
    and give tuition tonight.
    I was hoping for a do-nothing day but then again,
    I would be so free that I'll be thinking too much into things again.
    So it's probably better if I keep myself occupied for now.
    The irony right -.-"
    Anyways,
    guess I'll be starting on my work now.
    Happy holidays everybody^^

    And ohh,
    I wanna eat mooncakes,
    and play with sparkles,
    and perhaps candles as well,
    and certainly lanterns,
    and sip on green tea,
    and just look at the pretty moon hanging up in the beautiful night sky.

    -With All My Heart, Alina ;

    Saturday, August 27, 2011


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    COME BACK, LIKE RIGHT NOW!
    AND I MEAN ALL 5 OF YOU TOGETHER!

    -With All My Heart, Alina ;



    Hi there(:
    It's yet another week and how have you guys been?
    My heart's a little like the weather out there-
    cold and perhaps a little bit lonely.
    I don't know why,
    but it's just this uneasiness that's bothering me since I woke up this morning.
    But maybe it'll be better later in the day,
    when the sun comes out from where it's hiding and shines on us again(:
    Hopefully,
    the sun in my heart will appear along with it(:
    Today feels a little lack-of-something-to-do since last week I was trekking with Ade Jung at this time.
    So a morning without a goal to fulfill feels a little empty.
    Anyway,
    I just visited syc and strangely,
    my heart felt even more lonely than ever.
    I wonder if it's been too long since I fangirl-ed and have forgotten that kind of excitement,
    or if it''s because of seeing articles regarding TV5XQ's possible reunion next year,
    which have been critisized as groundless.
    Apparently,
    as much as people want this to be true,
    there are people who want otherwise.
    Even so,
    I don't want to lie to myself and say that this is 100% factual.
    But,
    I also wouldn't deny that a part of my heart is secretly hoping,
    and still keeping the faith.
    So until there're more affirmations,
    I wouldn't want to make any assumptions based on my own bias-ness.
    Time will tell.

    Lol.
    Doesn't this seem like a rather depressing post?
    I guess it's probably due to the written assignment I'm working on now.
    It's about severe depression and I can't help it even I'm being severely depressed just having to work on a paper like that.
    But yeahh,
    I guess I'll be spending most of my time today reading up on those articles I found over the week.
    Notice I said "most of the time",
    cause I've got an appointment at 1pm today.
    I guess I'm off for now,
    shall start reading up on my articles(:
    Have a good day ahead people(:




    Even with my eyes open, I cannot look at you.
    Your heart, faded with memories fatigued,
    I cannot capture it.
    Even when cried so much, even when thinking I can do this no more,
    When I look at you, I think it will be okay.

    I want to protect you.
    Even your habits, wrong and bad
    Even so they make me smile when tired.

    It will be a bit difficult, but
    I will even say I love you.
    Until the day you first come into my arms.

    I cannot smile.
    I cannot remember even if I smile.
    Today, also, like a dream
    You who look as if you will disappear once I open my eyes—I look at you, but
    I feel that you are not with me.
    I think I am awkward at expressing… because I love you.

    I want to protect you.
    Even your habits, wrong and bad
    Even so they make me smile when tired.

    It will be a bit difficult, but
    I will even say I love you.
    Until the day you first come into my arms.

    Will you perhaps seek another warmth,
    And leave me, and be happy?

    Even so I cannot let you go, baby
    It will hurt even more than death.

    I love you.
    I am in front of you,
    And not in front of any other.
    I am holding your hand.
    I cannot give you to another’s arms.
    I am clinging to you with all my might.
    I cannot let you go—such a heart, why?


    You'll protect me, right?

    -With All My Heart, Alina ;

    Thursday, August 25, 2011


    HELLO HELLO!^^
    If I'm not mistaken,
    according to the work week,
    today's the day when life starts seeping back into our bodies.
    Hahahaha :DD
    And yeahh,
    life seeped back into mine ;)))
    But then again,
    school was extremely short for me.
    Like 2 hour short haha XDD
    So yeahh,
    I got home at 10.30 and being the hardworking me,
    I started to work on my research from 11 till lunchtime at 1.
    I'm kinda proud of the work I've done actually ;)
    Feels like I've used the 2 hours purposefully heehee :DD
    Anyway mum bought KFC today and I felt guilty after eating.
    I've been eating too much sinful food lately.
    I really should switch back to plain and healthy food,
    like tomorrow maybe XDD
    And after lunch I went to sleep due to the overwhelming after-lunch effect.
    Slept damn well haha.
    So now I'm all revived and writing the post I've been wanting to write since Saturday(:
    You can be prepared to see a rather long post ahead!
    So here I begin^^

    SATURDAY 20TH AUGUST 2011
    CONQUERING THE SOUTHERN TRAIL WITH BELOVED ADE JUNG(:
    I shall let the photos do all the talking!
    And by the way,
    we took over 200 photos that day!!!
    And I had to filter out alot 'cause there'll be too many to upload if I were to post everything here.
    Besides,
    photobucket will so definitely crash haha XDD

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    This is the first photo we took that day,
    and is the opening to our trail ;)))
    It looks like a path to another land really.
    And indeed,
    it feels as if we had visited another different place altogether that day.
    It's been so long since I've been so close to nature,
    and being able to do that with Ade Jung,
    it's happiness to me.

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    TADAAA!!!
    Welcome to nature(:

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    HEEHEE!
    We were these balls of energy when the journey began.

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    It took us many flights of stairs before we got here,
    to the brilliant view of the cable cars(:
    I swear I was already panting like mad when we got up here.

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    <333

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    We saw this ancient-looking cable car and needless to say,
    the camera went snap snap snap XDD

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    SAY CHEESEEEEE~
    Ahhh I wanna take the cable car again someday.
    It feels good to be hanging high up in the sky.
    Lol. Did that come out weird? :X

    After a brief rest,
    we continued on our trail to this place which name I forgot,
    but it's really pretty and the view's nice too!
    I forgot how many times I said that the sky was so beautiful and blue that day.
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    I'm so thankful that it didn't rain that day,
    and it wasn't too hot either,
    so that contributed to the awesomeness that day ;)))

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    This is where we sat down,
    hid under the shade,
    had a little picnic,
    and guess what,
    camwhored~
    Heehee!
    Such a pretty place,
    with a great view and the wonderful breeze.
    It was just awesome^^

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    And it was here that we took some wonderful pictures XDD

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    Like this!
    Hahahaha!
    Nahhh!
    That's Ade Jung stalking me secretly.
    LOL.

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    One of my favourites <333

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    And this is like so cuteeeee :DD
    JUNSU-INSPIRED LOL.

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    Isn't this much of trees sucha rare sight in our daily lives?

    And so we moved on!

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    Check out my nails!
    But that's not the point.
    I wanted to show how high we were away from the ground,
    but I don't think it really shows much here huhh.

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    This is the start of the metal walkway,
    as I put it.
    This is a rather comfortable walk cause we were walking downhill from here haha.
    Supposedly there were monkeys but fortunately,
    we didn't see any that day.
    It would be nice to see some of those though.
    LOL.

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    YAYYYYY^^

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    At the end of the metal walkway we arrived at this bridge that would light up at night.
    According to Ade Jung's resource,
    the view would be really nice at night(:

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    I LOVEEEEE THIS! <333

    After the bridge we came to this place called Hortpark (Or so I think that's what it's called).
    At first glance the place looks like a country club.
    We had a short break there-
    going to the toilet and freshen up,
    before heading on to the next part of our trail(:

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    SUNNY ADE JUNG~

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    The umbrella's our friend that day^^

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    And before long we met our long time friend- the stairs.
    It was a long way up but we found a way to conquer it without thinking about the physical tiredness XDD

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    By taking photos as we climb ;)
    Look at my almost-dead look.
    Lol.

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    And next it's Ade Jung and her fierce look XDD

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    Then it's me again!

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    And Ade Jung!

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    ME AGAINNNN!

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    ADE JUNG!
    Lol.
    We both look like we discovered something new,
    but in the opposite direction.
    Hahahaha :DD

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    It's my turn again!
    We're almost thereeeee~

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    FOLLOW THE LIGHT~

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    ^^

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    AND WE'RE THERE! (OR CLOSE TO THERE HAHA)
    YAYYYYY US! :DD

    We half-walked and half-climbed to this amazing view
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    But I think I'm somewhere near exhaustion by the time we got to that chair.
    So while Ade Jung was camwhoring I nua-ed alot haha XDD

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    So this somewhat marks the near-end of our trail!^^
    After this we headed to the busstop somewhere near Science Park to catch a bus down to Holland V to have the awesome meal we deserve^^

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    Just look at her happy face XDD

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    The feelings of anticipation!
    Is it written all over my face?
    Hahaha I was so hungry everything looked crazy good.

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    And it was good!^^
    Cappuccino~
    I LIKE~

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    And here comes the main course!^^

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    Actually,
    this is the major highlight of the day hahaha XDD
    This is awesome, I swear.
    We literally cleaned the plate.

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    And it's time to head home.

    It's always a pleasure hanging out with this girl,
    and it's so nice that we have the opportunities to do these things together.

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    I love this girl(:

    And that marks the end of my Saturday.
    The week that followed came surprisingly quickly,
    but overall,
    it was satisfactory,
    in the sense that I felt it had been fulfilling.
    And now for my dinner date with Buddy on TUESDAY 23RD AUGUST 2011(:

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    MOUSSE!!!
    We had dinner at IKEA that night^^


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    We didn't take much photos that night 'cause I had to go back early :\

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    But we did take one epic pic XDD
    Let's meet up again soon!
    Heehee!

    That's about all!
    But before I go,
    I shall share a little of my love to you people~
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    LOVE LOVE LOVE~
    A guy looks hot when he's with a cute pet,

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    And when he's with a musical instrument heehee!

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    And also when he's with something called a basketball!^^

    Hahaha!
    JYJ is LOVE~
    Yepp yepp it's really goodbye for now,
    it's been a long enough post.
    I've gotta go help keep he clothes now,
    shower later and then have dinner!
    Goodbye people!
    It's almost Friday!
    Welcome the upcoming weekend with a smile!^^

    -With All My Heart, Alina ;