Underneath The Smile, The Pain Resides

<body> Underneath The Smile, The Pain Resides

THE GIRL

Arrived a gemini with a great deal of divided personalities. For one thing, I can laugh at one moment and be upset the next. But Im not the hardest person to get along with, certainly. I came to be me on 10th June 1991. Spent the last nighteen years of my life in attempts to piece myself together, and is still desperately trying. Family and friends are my life. At least that's the way it is till a boyfriend comes along XD Anyway, icecream's my addiction, my medicine, my must-have. Now you know how to make me happy. I dont need expensive gifts I just want a true heart. I'm majorly affected by the people around me. Can't say if it's a blessing or a curse, 'cause the little things people do can either make my day or simply make it worse. Just give me a smile, and I'll return one to you^^

KimJaeJoong: My Prince, MY Love, MY JAEBABY

LEAVE

2E1`05
4E1`07
NUS NURSING
BUDDY
AIKSONG
BEETENG
BOONYANG
CHUANLIANG
DINGSIAN
CINDY
ERVIN
GUOTING
HONGJIE
HUILI
IRA
JEAN
JINWEN
JINXIAN
JINYI
JOCELYN
JUNRI
KARYAN
KELLIE
LUTING
MADELEINE
MINGHAO
OLIVIA
QIAN
REUBEN
SAMANTHA
SHAWN
SHENN
SHIQI
SHIRLEY
SOOKYING
STELLA
TAOYAN
TOMMY
VANICE
WEIFANG
WEIJIE
WEIXIAN
WENDY
XUANXIN
YANGMENG

DOWN MEMORY LANE

TALK TO ME

CREDITS

DESIGNER: ice angel

Brushes: aethereality.net

Monday, December 29, 2008

hahax.
feel rather good now.
'cause i just received ivan's prezzie. ^^
a very special one haha.
he said he didnt have time to really go get a present so decided to do it manually instead.
at first he told me he wants to record something.
thought he was going to sing lol. -.-"
then end up he sent me a piano piece.
played by the man himself ehh. ^^
hehex.
i will make yours as special lol. XD

-With All My Heart, Alina ;

Sunday, December 28, 2008

arghh.
what kind of weather is this!?
the clouds are slacking really.
come out come out!
block the sun lol. >.<
ughh.
add alittle seasoning and i might actually taste good already.
im so cooked. -.-"

anyways,
a bird flew into my house last night ehh.
the kitchen toilet actually.
and yes, it's a bird lol.
a red one at that. XD
and it didnt want to fly out.
or maybe it didnt know how to fly out lol.
even though the window in my kitchen is like so freaking big. >.<
and it wasnt stuck or anything.
then alicia began coming up with theories like "the bird has lost its way and probably wants to stay over the night", "maybe the tree is too crowded" i rolled my eyes at that one though, "birds dont fly at night" and "our light is too bright and it led him here" i didnt even bother to roll my eyes at this one.
and did i mention alicia's an animal lover???
she reads about them, alot. XD
but when it comes to bringing a bird out of a toilet,
she suggested setting up a food trail made of bread instead. -.-"
a food trail huhh. my-god.
we wanted to catch it with our hands initially.
but the bird has wings lol.
not easy man.
anyway after the nonsensical theories which apparently did no help,
my mum went in to check out the bird and it actually flew off lol.
actually it flew down luhh.
amazing~
andy said it got frightened of my mum's face and probably freaked out.
my dad agreed too.
hahahaha.
damn funny.
should've recorded it down.
and then we went down to check if the bird really flew down or not.
or just drop down, in this case.
just because alicia said "birds dont fly at night".
so we were wondering if the bird would actually flap its wings when flying off an 11 storey building. -.-"
abundant really.
but we went to see anyway.
so went down awhile lol.
yeahh.
so that's about it for our birdcatching experience. XD

and ya.
buddy came yesterday.
had loads of fun^^
excluding the picking-up-shuttlecocks-in-both-courts-and-climbing-up-the-stairs part.
i almost died. >.<
and also,
i've got my romeo to keep my happy for now^^
and thankyou ahh buddy, once more,
for the prezzies. (:
<333

and i think im gonna have a new blankie soon. ^^
that's good news lol.

andand.
ivan...
dui bu qi mahh.
reply me luhh.

-With All My Heart, Alina ;

Thursday, December 25, 2008

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS PEOPLE XD
awww.
how nice would it be if it were to snow now. >.<
lol.
guess by then pigs can fly liao.

anyways,
i feel so loved(:
let time stop now... puhlease?

-With All My Heart, Alina ;

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

happy birthday lil bro! XD
yay!
at least i get to eat cake again lol.

for some reason,
im getting increasingly afraid whenever night falls.
it feels as if it comes back to me every time the sky darkens.
the change is a reminder of its presence.
even how very well i try to pretend in the day.
the night reminds me nonetheless, of it-
the already burning hole in my heart.

-With All My Heart, Alina ;

Monday, December 22, 2008

泪水将我淹没
到底谁该难过
究竟是谁放掉这段感情
我才终于明白
办不到的承诺就成了枷锁
现实中幸福永远缺货

请告诉他我不爱他
笑着难过自我惩罚
想终止这一切挣扎
狠了心说真心谎话
别告诉他我还想他
恨总比爱容易放下
当泪水堵住了胸口
就让沉默代替所有回答
我才终于明白
办不到的承诺就成了枷锁
现实中幸福永远缺货

请告诉他我不爱他
笑着难过自我惩罚
想终止这一切挣扎
狠了心说真心谎话
别告诉他我还想他
恨总比爱容易放下
当泪水堵住了胸口
就让沉默代替所有回答

我不爱
我不痛
我不懂
我的心早已掏空
真心话言不由衷

请告诉他我不爱他
笑着难过自我惩罚
想终止这一切挣扎
狠了心说真心谎话
别告诉他我还想他
恨总比爱容易放下
当泪水堵住了胸口
就让沉默代替所有回答

别告诉他
我还想他
就让沉默代替所有回答

-With All My Heart, Alina ;

Sunday, December 21, 2008

ohmygoshh.
im finally done with my blog reconstruction lol. XD
*throws confetti in air*
hahax.
it's been awhile now.
everything seems to have happened in a flash since my last entry.
suddenly i felt like im a little girl again.
suddenly im off to chalet.
suddenly im back from chalet.
suddenly i faced disappointment in the eye.
suddenly im confused.
suddenly i am fighting a lost battle.
suddenly i feel as if i might as well just die.
and suddenly im sitting here on my chair typing.

george,
i am fully aware that you are very very upset.
but i am in as much agony as you are.
i have never felt such pain in my life as i do right now.
right now, after having that conversation with you.
what exactly do you want from me?
on one hand you keep saying that you do not want anything.
but on the other you're pushing me to the limits.
and it is hurting like mad.
it hurts like mad.
dont ask me why must we be friends.
dont tell me you want to die.
dont keep saying that.
the guilt is torturing me.
stop doing this to me.
please stop.
please.
i am at fault.
i am to blame.
i dont know how it feels to be at your end.
i didnt spare a thought for how you feel.
i am so so sorry.
i should never never never had appeared before you.
i am very sorry.

someone freaking take my life right now.

-With All My Heart, Alina ;

im not done yet.
shall continue tomorrow.
till then.

-With All My Heart, Alina ;

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

arghh.
im so sick...
blah. >.<

-With All My Heart, Alina ;