<body> Underneath The Smile, The Pain Resides

THE GIRL

Photobucket Arrived a gemini with a great deal of divided personalities. For one thing, I can laugh at one moment and be upset the next. But Im not the hardest person to get along with, certainly. I came to be me on 10th June 1991. Spent the last nighteen years of my life in attempts to piece myself together, and is still desperately trying. Family and friends are my life. At least that's the way it is till a boyfriend comes along XD Anyway, icecream's my addiction, my medicine, my must-have. Now you know how to make me happy. I dont need expensive gifts I just want a true heart. I'm majorly affected by the people around me. Can't say if it's a blessing or a curse, 'cause the little things people do can either make my day or simply make it worse. Just give me a smile, and I'll return one to you^^

Photobucket KimJaeJoong: My Prince, MY Love, MY JAEBABY

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    TALK TO ME




    CREDITS

    DESIGNER: ice angel


    Brushes: aethereality.net

    Saturday, August 27, 2011


    Hi there(:
    It's yet another week and how have you guys been?
    My heart's a little like the weather out there-
    cold and perhaps a little bit lonely.
    I don't know why,
    but it's just this uneasiness that's bothering me since I woke up this morning.
    But maybe it'll be better later in the day,
    when the sun comes out from where it's hiding and shines on us again(:
    Hopefully,
    the sun in my heart will appear along with it(:
    Today feels a little lack-of-something-to-do since last week I was trekking with Ade Jung at this time.
    So a morning without a goal to fulfill feels a little empty.
    Anyway,
    I just visited syc and strangely,
    my heart felt even more lonely than ever.
    I wonder if it's been too long since I fangirl-ed and have forgotten that kind of excitement,
    or if it''s because of seeing articles regarding TV5XQ's possible reunion next year,
    which have been critisized as groundless.
    Apparently,
    as much as people want this to be true,
    there are people who want otherwise.
    Even so,
    I don't want to lie to myself and say that this is 100% factual.
    But,
    I also wouldn't deny that a part of my heart is secretly hoping,
    and still keeping the faith.
    So until there're more affirmations,
    I wouldn't want to make any assumptions based on my own bias-ness.
    Time will tell.

    Lol.
    Doesn't this seem like a rather depressing post?
    I guess it's probably due to the written assignment I'm working on now.
    It's about severe depression and I can't help it even I'm being severely depressed just having to work on a paper like that.
    But yeahh,
    I guess I'll be spending most of my time today reading up on those articles I found over the week.
    Notice I said "most of the time",
    cause I've got an appointment at 1pm today.
    I guess I'm off for now,
    shall start reading up on my articles(:
    Have a good day ahead people(:




    Even with my eyes open, I cannot look at you.
    Your heart, faded with memories fatigued,
    I cannot capture it.
    Even when cried so much, even when thinking I can do this no more,
    When I look at you, I think it will be okay.

    I want to protect you.
    Even your habits, wrong and bad
    Even so they make me smile when tired.

    It will be a bit difficult, but
    I will even say I love you.
    Until the day you first come into my arms.

    I cannot smile.
    I cannot remember even if I smile.
    Today, also, like a dream
    You who look as if you will disappear once I open my eyes—I look at you, but
    I feel that you are not with me.
    I think I am awkward at expressing… because I love you.

    I want to protect you.
    Even your habits, wrong and bad
    Even so they make me smile when tired.

    It will be a bit difficult, but
    I will even say I love you.
    Until the day you first come into my arms.

    Will you perhaps seek another warmth,
    And leave me, and be happy?

    Even so I cannot let you go, baby
    It will hurt even more than death.

    I love you.
    I am in front of you,
    And not in front of any other.
    I am holding your hand.
    I cannot give you to another’s arms.
    I am clinging to you with all my might.
    I cannot let you go—such a heart, why?

    You'll protect me, right?

    -With All My Heart, Alina ;