Underneath The Smile, The Pain Resides

THE GIRL

Arrived a gemini with a great deal of divided personalities. For one thing, I can laugh at one moment and be upset the next. But Im not the hardest person to get along with, certainly. I came to be me on 10th June 1991. Spent the last nighteen years of my life in attempts to piece myself together, and is still desperately trying. Family and friends are my life. At least that's the way it is till a boyfriend comes along XD Anyway, icecream's my addiction, my medicine, my must-have. Now you know how to make me happy. I dont need expensive gifts I just want a true heart. I'm majorly affected by the people around me. Can't say if it's a blessing or a curse, 'cause the little things people do can either make my day or simply make it worse. Just give me a smile, and I'll return one to you^^

KimJaeJoong: My Prince, MY Love, MY JAEBABY

LEAVE

2E1`05 4E1`07
NUS NURSING
BUDDY
AIKSONG
BEETENG
BOONYANG
CHUANLIANG
DINGSIAN
CINDY
ERVIN
GUOTING
HONGJIE
HUILI
IRA
JEAN
JINWEN
JINXIAN
JINYI
JOCELYN
JUNRI
KARYAN
KELLIE
LUTING
MADELEINE
MINGHAO
OLIVIA
QIAN
REUBEN
SAMANTHA
SHAWN
SHENN
SHIQI
SHIRLEY
SOOKYING
STELLA
TAOYAN
TOMMY
VANICE
WEIFANG
WEIJIE
WEIXIAN
WENDY
XUANXIN
YANGMENG

DOWN MEMORY LANE

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TALK TO ME

CREDITS

DESIGNER: ice angel

Brushes: aethereality.net

Sunday, July 17, 2011

There're just so much going on I don't know where or how to begin.

Perhaps I can only sum it up with this one word: Secrets.

Since when have this started?

So we're keeping things from one another now?

I admit that I've been sensitive with regards to this matter.

And why was I?

Because you're family.

Had you been some other person,

I wouldn't have bothered.

And in exchange for that you must have thought I was having some of my crazy mood swings again.

I have never expected any of you to change because of me,

so don't expect that I can change because of you either.

This all happened because recently,

I realize Andy and Alicia have been keeping things from me.

I know that it's not much of a big deal but such things have an impact on me.

It's like you don't feel as important to the people you deem important in your life.

And the 2 of them were once very important to me.

But now, things have changed.

People change.

We used to be inseparable.

We used to be honest about everything.

We used to be three.

But then again,

they're "used-to-bes".

Turns out I'm the only one who hasn't got past the old times,

the only one who is still living in the memories,

when I should have let them be.

I'm not saying this because I'm still mad at them.

But because I realize it's really time to move on.

There was a time when they took up the center of my life,

but now,

that position has shifted.

I should be living more of my own life now,

not having to be overly concerned with theirs.

I guess I have been doing that for too long now,

so much so that Andy commented that "I didn't know I've got 2 mothers."

Even though it hurt then,

I've come to see that I've involved myself with their lives for far too long,

and it's time I take a step back.

And because of this,

I haven't been nice to my parents either,

especially my mum.

And I'm sorry she had to endure it when she wasn't even part of this shit.

I'll be a good girl now and do my part,

more of a daughter,

and less of a sister (:

And there's the JYJ issue.

This one I really don't know where to begin.

It's like we just got smacked right in the face without knowing any of the shit.

Firstly,

JYJ got cancelled out of KBS Jeju event,

and we don't even need to guess who's behind everything.

And then there's the case regarding the song.

And now my twitter timeline's just spammed.

Everything's such a mess and everyone's confused.

But beneath all of this,

I saw baby's sincerity...

He is the man who,

despite all that obstacles and hindrances,

wants to do the right thing.

And this is why,

we can believe in him,

in JYJ.

SM you can go die.

-With All My Heart, Alina ;