Underneath The Smile, The Pain Resides

THE GIRL

Arrived a gemini with a great deal of divided personalities. For one thing, I can laugh at one moment and be upset the next. But Im not the hardest person to get along with, certainly. I came to be me on 10th June 1991. Spent the last nighteen years of my life in attempts to piece myself together, and is still desperately trying. Family and friends are my life. At least that's the way it is till a boyfriend comes along XD Anyway, icecream's my addiction, my medicine, my must-have. Now you know how to make me happy. I dont need expensive gifts I just want a true heart. I'm majorly affected by the people around me. Can't say if it's a blessing or a curse, 'cause the little things people do can either make my day or simply make it worse. Just give me a smile, and I'll return one to you^^

KimJaeJoong: My Prince, MY Love, MY JAEBABY

LEAVE

2E1`05 4E1`07
NUS NURSING
BUDDY
AIKSONG
BEETENG
BOONYANG
CHUANLIANG
DINGSIAN
CINDY
ERVIN
GUOTING
HONGJIE
HUILI
IRA
JEAN
JINWEN
JINXIAN
JINYI
JOCELYN
JUNRI
KARYAN
KELLIE
LUTING
MADELEINE
MINGHAO
OLIVIA
QIAN
REUBEN
SAMANTHA
SHAWN
SHENN
SHIQI
SHIRLEY
SOOKYING
STELLA
TAOYAN
TOMMY
VANICE
WEIFANG
WEIJIE
WEIXIAN
WENDY
XUANXIN
YANGMENG

DOWN MEMORY LANE

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TALK TO ME

CREDITS

DESIGNER: ice angel

Brushes: aethereality.net

Thursday, July 21, 2011

It's funny how I had the thoughts all sorted out beforehand and when I finally sit down to write,

they get jumbled up again >.<

Must be the songs playing in my headset now.

They really dictate how you may feel at that point of time.

I shall switch to a song of slower pace so that I can write this post in calmness and peace.

Hahaha.

Woke up to a relatively beautiful Thursday.

The weather this morning was brilliant,

and I really love the smell of the morning air,

until it was polluted and corrupted with all kinds of nasty smells,

be it from the vehicles zooming away or from some other place.

As usual, the first thing I did after waking up was check my phone,

for messages,

but more importantly,

for tweets.

And last night,

our Junsu tweeted.

He is the light amidst the darkness.

Believe,

because faith is a very powerful thing.

Even if there may be many more mountains to cross in the future,

we will climb them together,

AKTF.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now,

for the less fangirl side of me,

and I can tell you it's a completely different personality.

Haven't been too happy lately.

It's like the peak period for troubles,

not only of my own,

but of the people close to me as well.

Problems just come flooding in.

I finally felt for myself what is "一波未平, 一波又起".

There's the relationship issue going on with my friend,

and sometimes I feel so helpless.

Other than being a listening ear,

I really can't do much for her...

I wish I was better...

And there're the many internal struggles I'm facing.

I'm tired of having to be so cautious of the steps I take,

of the decisions I make.

I want to let loose for awhile,

not having to think of anything else and just be free.

But in reality,

that's not possible for me.

Because one wrong step and I may look back with regrets.

And I've got enough regrets for now.

Sometimes I just wish I'm not me.

Perhaps living someone else's life could be easier?

But then again,

living has never been an easy thing.

Anyways,

life's not all that bad.

There are moments when I felt happy as well,

like last night when I spent the evening with my mum @ Jp.

Like when I can just chill and watch the TV.

Shall just enjoy the rest of my holidays before I go for attachment,

speaking of which is approximately 2 weeks later ohmygosh.

Can I have longer holidays hahaha?

I think I've gotten used to life as a sloth,

waking up at ungodly times,

not having to worry about homework and tests,

being able to sleep as and when I want...

Ohh shucks.

-With All My Heart, Alina ;