Underneath The Smile, The Pain Resides

<body> Underneath The Smile, The Pain Resides

THE GIRL

Arrived a gemini with a great deal of divided personalities. For one thing, I can laugh at one moment and be upset the next. But Im not the hardest person to get along with, certainly. I came to be me on 10th June 1991. Spent the last nighteen years of my life in attempts to piece myself together, and is still desperately trying. Family and friends are my life. At least that's the way it is till a boyfriend comes along XD Anyway, icecream's my addiction, my medicine, my must-have. Now you know how to make me happy. I dont need expensive gifts I just want a true heart. I'm majorly affected by the people around me. Can't say if it's a blessing or a curse, 'cause the little things people do can either make my day or simply make it worse. Just give me a smile, and I'll return one to you^^

KimJaeJoong: My Prince, MY Love, MY JAEBABY

LEAVE

2E1`05
4E1`07
NUS NURSING
BUDDY
AIKSONG
BEETENG
BOONYANG
CHUANLIANG
DINGSIAN
CINDY
ERVIN
GUOTING
HONGJIE
HUILI
IRA
JEAN
JINWEN
JINXIAN
JINYI
JOCELYN
JUNRI
KARYAN
KELLIE
LUTING
MADELEINE
MINGHAO
OLIVIA
QIAN
REUBEN
SAMANTHA
SHAWN
SHENN
SHIQI
SHIRLEY
SOOKYING
STELLA
TAOYAN
TOMMY
VANICE
WEIFANG
WEIJIE
WEIXIAN
WENDY
XUANXIN
YANGMENG

DOWN MEMORY LANE

TALK TO ME

CREDITS

DESIGNER: ice angel

Brushes: aethereality.net

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The most ridiculous thing I heard today:

"If you're hurting you wouldn't be doing this to me"

I have been fine tuned to take everything in passing.

For every word leaving her lips no longer bears meaning.

And that everything she said is out of anger and frustration.

But how long do I have to take this?

I know I must try even harder today.

Try even harder to shut all of this shit off my mind.

Let the music sink in and leave everything behind.

Stop all the voices in my mind before I fall deeper into the abyss of sin.

Pray hard,

pray that all of this stops,

that no one comes in and bothers me.

Linkin Park's music keeps playing in my ears.

The lyrics hitting hard in my mind.

I let the volume take over everything else,

so loud that it'll drown all the noises outside,

so loud it might actually drown the voices inside as well.

But no,

the voices inside my head are domineering.

There're screams,

shrieks,

and yells.

They're calling for me.

They're telling me to let go,

to be free,

to leave this shit.

And I can't do nothing about it.

The only thing I can do now is to not stop.

Not stop typing.

Not stop the music from playing,

and when each song ends my heart skips a beat,

for fear that within that mere seconds of silence,

I might hear more voices from the outside,

for fear someone might call my name,

for fear that someone might notice my crying alone in the room.

What a loser.

Yes,

I can only carry on.

I need to keep typing.

I need to release that negativity.

Because the inside of me is dying to get out,

I can hear her screams,

alongside Chester's yelling voice.

But he's the only person who can tune down this insecurity I'm feeling.

The feeling that I might just do something stupid anytime.

The feeling that I might not be able to keep in.

Let the music blast through my ears,

seep into my mind and shut off everything else.

Let it take over, for now.

Don't ask,

for I don't know how to explain.

-With All My Heart, Alina ;