Although I'm feeling pretty worn out right now,I want to do this.
I want to write this down,
before the feelings die down after a night's sleep.
And so I shall begin.
The day started with excitement and anticipation.
Other than a 30-minute session with Jolene, our clinical instructor,
everything else went according to regular routine,
such that we took parameters, ran around with commode chairs, interacting with patients and all.
However, my heart melted tonight because of this one patient.
She suffers from depression and had been a difficult patient from the start.
She's usually angsty and none of us liked tending to her as we are unaware of when her mood may change.
Yet,
she was the patient who left us the deepest impression.
Everyday we think of ways to help her open up and be more positive about herself and her life.
But because she has a rather complicated family background and owning to the many many unpleasant events in her life,
it was a mission we never thought we would be able to accomplish,
especially considering the limited time span.
Last night,
we decided that we would take her out for a walk,
to breathe in fresh air and just enjoy the night air for abit.
We even thought of the questions to ask her that might get her into telling more about herself.
However,
things didn't go as planned.
As her daughter was supposed to visit her,
she declined going down for the walk.
We were slightly disappointed but nevertheless,
we understood that family is priority.
The thing is,
her daughter never came...
Her family's pretty complex and it's not appropriate for me to reveal too much here.
All I can say is,
if I ever have a daughter like hers,
I'll either kill myself or kill her.
Anyways,
as she was Ina's patient,
Ina went to speak to her with much hesitation and courage.
But before she could finish 3 sentences,
she cried.
And what was most surprising was,
the patient comforted her instead.
I guess that was the turning point of our relationship,
even though Ina and her shared a more intrinsic relationship with her than we did.
The feeling is difficult for me to describe but I guess the word could only be "heart-rending".
Before we left,
the 3 of us went over and surprisingly,
she reached out her hand towards us.
Never did that thought cross my mind-
the thought that she would hold out her hand to reach for us.
I felt a lump in my throat and I'm sure the other 2 did too.
She wished us all the best and told us to take care.
Those were the sweetest words I heard since the beginning of attachment,
and I believe I'll always remember them as well as the warmth of her hand.
To be honest,
through this attachment,
I learnt more about the human spirit,
much more than any other newly acquired knowledge.
There's no doubt at all that life is vulnerable;
no matter the time,
no matter the place.
And even as I type this,
lives are taken away.
No matter how advanced medical technology may be,
we die.
And I believe that even if we give Mankind another 10,000 years,
there's no stopping death from occurring.
Yet, what shines through in the end is not how we preserve our physical body,
but how we shape our spirit.
Muscles weaken,
the skin wrinkles,
and the bones collapse.
But one thing's for sure,
the soul remains intact.
And from the way I see it,
many people I came across these 2 weeks have a soul stronger and braver than many healthy people I meet in my life.
And these are the people I salute to,
for I know I would never be as brave should I be placed under similar circumstances.
I think in life,
adversities are necessary,
for without crisis,
we wouldn't know how strong we actually can be.
I feel sorry to those who had been living a lifetime under sheltered arms,
for all they can ever think of is "Me, myself and I".
I hope I'll never be such a person.
The attachment's also enabled me to get to know more about the people around me.
Indeed, time proves everything.
It takes 3 minutes to know someone but probably a lifetime to really understand this person.
I guess I don't need a lifetime to know who you are, inside.
You're not an enemy,
but neither are you a friend.
Lastly,
I only hope that the patients would be healthy, and more importantly happy.
It's not about adding years to life,
but adding life to years.
Live life to the fullest,
and embrace adversities with courage and a smile.
Sometimes I get so tired sleep is all I can think about.
Sometimes my feet ache so much I can't even walk right.
Sometimes I handle so many chores I feel nauseous.
Sometimes my patients piss me off.
But sometimes,
I feel this sense of accomplishment.
Sometimes, friends give the greatest comfort.
Sometimes, I get reaffirmed that I had chosen the right destination.
And sometimes, I know that one of the best choices for me was being a nurse.
It's almost 2 am now and I probably should head to bed.
Tonight, I shall sleep really well haha :DD
Anyways despite working the PM shift today,
I had TGIF @ Island Creamery with girlfriends Daph, Vy, and Hong.
As usual, it was awesome time spent together,
and I simply love the girls to bits.
No pics this time round cause we were too busy catching up since we were in a way separated during the attachment,
though we were in the same hospital :\
But anyhoo,
we'll TGIF again after the exams!^^
That's tradition haha XDD
Miss the girls.
But for now,
it's study time!
Will plan my study schedule tomorrow!
Go Alina Go! XDD
I may not be rich,
I may not have popularity,
I may not even be significant to many,
but I have a life worth living.
Do you?
Arrived a gemini with a great deal of divided personalities.
For one thing, I can laugh at one moment and be upset the next.
But Im not the hardest person to get along with, certainly.
I came to be me on 10th June 1991.
Spent the last nighteen years of my life in attempts to piece myself together, and is still desperately trying.
Family and friends are my life.
At least that's the way it is till a boyfriend comes along XD
Anyway, icecream's my addiction, my medicine, my must-have.
Now you know how to make me happy.
I dont need expensive gifts I just want a true heart.
I'm majorly affected by the people around me.
Can't say if it's a blessing or a curse, 'cause the little things people do can either make my day or simply make it worse.
Just give me a smile, and I'll return one to you^^
KimJaeJoong: My Prince, MY Love, MY JAEBABY 