Underneath The Smile, The Pain Resides

THE GIRL

Arrived a gemini with a great deal of divided personalities. For one thing, I can laugh at one moment and be upset the next. But Im not the hardest person to get along with, certainly. I came to be me on 10th June 1991. Spent the last nighteen years of my life in attempts to piece myself together, and is still desperately trying. Family and friends are my life. At least that's the way it is till a boyfriend comes along XD Anyway, icecream's my addiction, my medicine, my must-have. Now you know how to make me happy. I dont need expensive gifts I just want a true heart. I'm majorly affected by the people around me. Can't say if it's a blessing or a curse, 'cause the little things people do can either make my day or simply make it worse. Just give me a smile, and I'll return one to you^^

KimJaeJoong: My Prince, MY Love, MY JAEBABY

LEAVE

2E1`05 4E1`07
NUS NURSING
BUDDY
AIKSONG
BEETENG
BOONYANG
CHUANLIANG
DINGSIAN
CINDY
ERVIN
GUOTING
HONGJIE
HUILI
IRA
JEAN
JINWEN
JINXIAN
JINYI
JOCELYN
JUNRI
KARYAN
KELLIE
LUTING
MADELEINE
MINGHAO
OLIVIA
QIAN
REUBEN
SAMANTHA
SHAWN
SHENN
SHIQI
SHIRLEY
SOOKYING
STELLA
TAOYAN
TOMMY
VANICE
WEIFANG
WEIJIE
WEIXIAN
WENDY
XUANXIN
YANGMENG

DOWN MEMORY LANE

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TALK TO ME

CREDITS

DESIGNER: ice angel

Brushes: aethereality.net

Thursday, March 24, 2011

You'd text me when I'm not around in lecture.
You'd ask if I'm okay.
And when I said I'm skipping class,
you'd say I haven't been a good girl.

I haven't been good.
But not because I skipped class;
You remember I don't take spicy food even though I've only said it once.
You remember the days I give tuition even though I've only told you once.
You would question my bruised finger.
You would question if I had ate.
You would ask if everything's okay.
You would ask if I've got anything to say.
You would wipe my tears away,
even though sometimes it may not be the best way.
You would wait for me to speak instead of insisting.
You would pat me on the head.
In front of me, you'll hide your fears away.
You knew it was a lie but yet you accepted it all.
You protected me,
but what did I do for you...

All these time I thought I was the only one hurting.
All these time I had not really looked at you properly,
had not asked you the questions I should,
had not shown the same concern for you as you did for me.
It wasn't until right now,
did I realize the hurt in my heart has stopped,
perhaps long ago,
because I had you.
Because in a way you bore it for me,
by showing me I could be loved again.
I didn't know you've got so much to face,
and all you're doing is bearing it in,
bearing it in all on your own.
You wouldn't tell me,
or perhaps I had not bothered to know in the first place.
I have to admit that towards you,
I have been too selfish.
Always been on the receiving end and you're always the one who has got to think for me.

And even when I was messaging you the joke earlier,
I couldn't stop the tears from falling.
I do care for you,
and I want to care for you.
Knowing that you're on your own makes my heart hurt,
and I came to realize that no matter the obstacles ahead,
no matter how heavy the burdens there is to carry,
I want to share them with you,
as a good friend.

The tears fell not because I realize I have feelings for you,
but because I realize even after trying, I couldn't feel anything.
I wish it had been different.
I wish there were things I could change.
This time, I really do.

-With All My Heart, Alina ;