Underneath The Smile, The Pain Resides

THE GIRL

Arrived a gemini with a great deal of divided personalities. For one thing, I can laugh at one moment and be upset the next. But Im not the hardest person to get along with, certainly. I came to be me on 10th June 1991. Spent the last nighteen years of my life in attempts to piece myself together, and is still desperately trying. Family and friends are my life. At least that's the way it is till a boyfriend comes along XD Anyway, icecream's my addiction, my medicine, my must-have. Now you know how to make me happy. I dont need expensive gifts I just want a true heart. I'm majorly affected by the people around me. Can't say if it's a blessing or a curse, 'cause the little things people do can either make my day or simply make it worse. Just give me a smile, and I'll return one to you^^

KimJaeJoong: My Prince, MY Love, MY JAEBABY

LEAVE

2E1`05 4E1`07
NUS NURSING
BUDDY
AIKSONG
BEETENG
BOONYANG
CHUANLIANG
DINGSIAN
CINDY
ERVIN
GUOTING
HONGJIE
HUILI
IRA
JEAN
JINWEN
JINXIAN
JINYI
JOCELYN
JUNRI
KARYAN
KELLIE
LUTING
MADELEINE
MINGHAO
OLIVIA
QIAN
REUBEN
SAMANTHA
SHAWN
SHENN
SHIQI
SHIRLEY
SOOKYING
STELLA
TAOYAN
TOMMY
VANICE
WEIFANG
WEIJIE
WEIXIAN
WENDY
XUANXIN
YANGMENG

DOWN MEMORY LANE

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TALK TO ME

CREDITS

DESIGNER: ice angel

Brushes: aethereality.net

Friday, November 26, 2010

Life's a bubble.
Just when you start to dazzle in its beauty,
it pops,
and vanishes like it's never been there before.
And soon,
no one will remember,
that it once existed.
Because we're just one out of the many.
Is that it?

why the sudden thought?
because of the fact that i've never given much thought to it,
to my life, that is.
everyday seems like a routine for me.
there's always something to accomplish, a goal to reach.
so much so that i've let it take lead.
so much so that the steering wheel's no longer in my ownership.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

woke up at 6 today, surprisingly refreshed.
sleep really does wonders for the body!
anyways,
even though my paper's at 9am,
i left home at 7 as i've got to take a bus, then a train, then a bus, and then another bus to get to my exam venue-.-"
seems like quite an adventure XD
anyways,
the venue's at PGP and i was rather amazed at the fact that we're having an examination in the hostel site.
and i've got to mention,
i really really like the living environment of PGP.
for one, it's located real close to nature,
such that it's in close proximity with the trees and everything.
and there're no other buildings to block the view.
it just feels like a good place to be living in.
i bet the air's fresher too, with all those trees and stuff:DD
all it needs now is a coat of new paint across the exterior walls of its building.
it looks kinda old and worn-out from the outside >.<
as i was saying,
i had my exam in an exciting new place.
LOL.
but the feeling eventually faded as soon as i took my paper.
it's Nur113 Active Ageing in Singapore today.
everyone unanimously agreed that it was a tough paper.
but even so, i cannot hide my disappointment.
i've been doing much thinking lately,
and when the scripts were being collected this morning,
it suddenly hit me that everything that has happened to me had merely been occasions of sheer luck,
or life's own plan for me, as i like to put it.
(prior to this, i have typed out a long entry,
but publishing it will reveal more than i had wanted to,
and it'll trace back to a long time ago.
hence, i've decided to edit this out)
anyway,
my point is,
there're many things in my life right now that i feel i don't deserve;
that they all came to me out of coincidences.
but i must say that, in a way, im blessed.
even though i do not know, and will never know what the outcome will be like if i had taken a different path,
im satisfied, more or less, with everything i have now.
perhaps i could have chose differently,
perhaps i could be happier than i am now,
but i guess life needs to have its fair share of regrets,
something to look back and say "I could have..."
even so, right now, i will cast that aside,
it's not the right time to think about it, not tonight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

something else in mind now:
i like their tweets tonight(:
let the weather be good tomorrow!
it'll be a breathtaking performance, no doubt!
but i have my doubts as to how i will be able to concentrate on my anat & physio this weekend.
it's alright, self control alina!
will mug like hell in the day and spazz in the night! XDD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

im so sorry this post seems to be in fragments,
but expressed closely to the thoughts i have in my mind now, fragmented.
im worrying about this and that,
stressed out over this and that,
and feeling insecure about this and that.
it's just too much i can't seem to find the right way to express them properly.
and also too much i can't exactly write them here.
shall save that for the diary afterwards.
guess that's all for my friday night,
a night that i desperately need closure with.
goodnight people.

you're looking at me, but do you really see...?

-With All My Heart, Alina ;